The Many Faces of Love Through Fifteen Cultural Figures

Love takes up a staggering amount of space in our literature, history books and overall cultural thinking. After all, who can resist a good love story? But it would be naïve to conclude that love is all handsome strangers and happily ever afters. Love can lift us up on some days and bring us crashing down on others. It can be a potentially destructive force when born from the wrong circumstances, and some have, understandably, simply decided to opt out. 

So, this Valentine’s Day, we’ve decided to take a tour of the various faces of love (or lack thereof) in the form of fifteen famous figures, some fictional, some 100% real. We’re looking at three power couples, three toxic couples and three inspiring single women who proudly said no to love. What can they teach us about this ever-mysterious concept that takes up so much of our time? Let’s find out. (Warning: contains spoilers.)

1. Power couples

The gold standard for relationships everywhere.

Simone de Beauvoir and Jean-Paul Sartre

De Beauvoir and Sartre were not only huge names on the post-war existentialism scene, but also lovers, though not in the most classic sense of the word. Having met at the Sorbonne in the 1920s, it will surprise no one to hear that these two radical thinkers came up with their own unique take on the concept of coupledom. They embarked on what would now be called an open relationship, having various different partners, both sexual and otherwise, but always coming back to each other as anchors.

In our contemporary world in which open relationships and polyamory are fairly common, this seems less than shocking. But the pair came to this decision almost 100 years ago, and shattered every social norm in the book. De Beauvoir described her relationship with Startre as her greatest achievement - and given the enormity of her contribution to second wave feminism and advances in gender equality, that’s saying something!

Virginia Woolf and Vita Sackville West

The two writers, Virginia Woolf and Vita Sackville West, met in 1922 at a dinner and embarked upon a passionate affair. Both were curious, eloquent intellectuals and fell deeply in love with each other. At the time, homosexuality was far less socially accepted but this didn’t stop them from speaking and writing openly about their relationship.

The letters exchanged by Virginia and Vita demonstrate the depth and complexity of their devotion to each other. The two acted as critics for the other’s work, Virginia in great admiration of Vita’s character and charisma, Vita a devotee of Virginia’s literary, experimental writing. Though they had a complicated relationship, not least because they were married to other people at the time, it’s difficult not to fall in love with the bond these two women shared.

Winston and Julia (from Nineteen Eighty-Four by George Orwell)

Winston and Julia are fellow inhabitants of Orwell’s legendary dystopian universe, Big Brother’s oppressive regime that prohibits freedom of thought, speech and love. They are also fellow dissenters and are united by their secret longing for a life beyond this stifled existence.

As all lovers do, they share secrets, hopes and fears but the stakes are approximately a thousand times higher than they would be for any non-dystopian couple thanks to the ever patrolling thought police. Their love is eventually used against them in one of the most dispiriting endings in all of literature, but the fact that it existed at all makes this couple impossible not to fall for, just as they fell, so beautifully and so tragically, for each other.

2. Toxic couples

Couples who showed us the importance of choosing wisely and saying no to destructive love.

Cathy & Heathcliff (from Wuthering Heights by Emily Brontë)

Cathy and Heathcliff are often depicted as the ultimate romantic literary couple, with teenagers throughout the world spending their days arduously picturing the arrival of their own Heathcliff. But, if we look at the facts, the relationship they modelled is one we should be actively trying to avoid.

The bond between Cathy and Heathcliff is built on a less than desirable cocktail of anger, jealousy and outright cruelty. Even when, after years of torment, revenge and overall to-ing and fro-ing, the pair are finally united for the five minutes before Cathy’s death, all they do is bicker. The toxicity doesn’t even end when one of them dies; Cathy continues to haunt Heathcliff as a ghost, making it impossible for this poor couple to ever be free of each other. Talk about a lack of boundaries…

Thérèse and Laurent (from Therese Raquin by Émile Zola)

In Zola’s Thérèse Raquin, Laurent has fallen in love with Thérèse and she loves him back. There’s one problem: she’s married and it’s the 1800s, well before the divorce-as-socially-acceptable-option era. So they do what any healthy couple-to-be would do and decide to kill her husband.

This turns out not to be the flawless solution they had hoped for as both Laurent and Thérèse become racked with guilt, memories of what they did beginning to haunt them non-stop. This feeling gains in momentum to the extent that, after a while, they can no longer stand to be around each other. I suppose the moral of that one is: love’s all very well, but best to avoid killing people for it.

Henry VIII and Anne Boleyn

The Tudors… God love them for making us sit up in Year 8 history lessons, but they delivered some of the most heinous ‘love stories’ that have ever existed. No one was more guilty of this than Henry VIII, especially in his treatment of Anne Boleyn.

The two fell in love in the 1520s while he was still married to wife no.1, Catherine of Aragon. Faced by the same problem as Thérèse and Laurent, Henry had to pull a fair few strings in order to remarry, namely break with the Catholic Church, which did not allow divorce, in order to set up a new one that did. In hindsight, this level of obsession should have been a pretty major red flag.

Despite this grandest of grand gestures, the honeymoon period didn’t last long; within just three years of marrying Anne, Henry’s eye had already begun to wander. In 1536, he had her executed for betraying him with other men (which is highly likely to have been a complete fabrication just to get rid of her) and was married to his third wife within less than two weeks of her death. It’s no wonder Anne and Henry’s daughter, the future Elizabeth I, would go on to say ‘thanks but no thanks’ to marriage (more on that later).

3. Legendary singletons

Some inspiring women who politely declined a life of love and showed us that you don’t need a relationship to be happy.

Keiko (from Convenience Store Woman by Sayaka Murata)

Convenience Store Woman depicts love from an alternative angle, exploring what the absence of it means for people. Keiko is a 36-year-old woman living in Tokyo who has worked in the same convenience store her entire adult life. She has never had a romantic partner or shown any particular desire for one. This reality worries and confuses everybody in her orbit, except Keiko herself; she is perfectly content with her independent, predictable life.

Convenience Store Woman is a deceptively simple novel but it explores complex ideas and symbolism around what it means to live a fulfilling life. Love will take a leading role in most people’s perception of long-term happiness, but, as Murata demonstrates, the consequences of imposing this inherited world view on others can be dire. As readers, we feel upset for Keiko when she is so harshly judged by her friends for the crime of being single, but it is a painfully familiar response to women of a certain age who have chosen not to partner up. The same judgement is rarely imposed on single men. Strange, that…

Miss Marple (from Agatha Christie’s detective series)

Here’s the thing about Agatha Christie’s celebrated mystery solving heroine, Miss Marple: she was Miss, and not Mrs, for a reason. Along with Nancy Drew, she is arguably the most famous female detective in literary history and, as many have acknowledged, her single-ness was a prime reason for her success. Christie famously came to dislike her most recognised fictional creation, Hercule Poirot, and we can imagine it was a pleasure to craft a wise, independent female detective who had all of Poirot’s wit and intelligence but none of his ego.

While Christie does use some of the traditional spinster stereotypes in the depiction of her heroine, Miss Marple uses them to her advantage. So, instead of being ailing and bitter, as so many older unmarried women have been represented throughout history, Miss Marple is sharp and able to use her experience and female intuition to get to the heart of some of the most intricate mysteries that Christie crafted.

Elizabeth I

Known as the Virgin Queen, Elizabeth I is perhaps the most famous single lady in English history. She reigned for a good forty-five years, living to the ripe old age of 69, and never got married. This was pretty much unheard of for any woman of the period, but especially for monarchs. She would have been under constant pressure to get married and produce heirs, and yet she never did.

It’s unrealistic to suggest that she never fell in love. Many have speculated that she had a relationship with Robert Dudley, and possibly others, during her time on the throne. But, for whatever reason, she never chose to marry and went on to establish what many call the greatest reign England has known without a king by her side. But, then again, are any of us really surprised that things tend to go better when we cut out the middleman (get it?)...?

To sum up…

Hopefully our round-up of these infamous romantic (and non-romantic) figures has given you a taste of just how diverse a phenomenon love can be. When it’s right, embrace it; when it’s not, stay away. Start exploring these characters yourself and let us know your thoughts on them!